Friday, 9 December 2011

Seasons Greetings from State Prison!

Stuck for Christmas gift ideas for the family? Wish there was a one stop shop to cater for the entire brood, somewhere that sells entertaining and educational materials to help the kids grow into rational, well adjusted adults? Would it be an added bonus if your purchases helped line the pockets of a convicted tax evader? If you've answered yes to all of those questions then I've the perfect website for you.... (

Creation store is the merchandising arm of Creation Science Ministries (CSE) the brain child of "Dr" Kent Hovind* an American young Earth creationist, created in 1989 to enable him to spread the word about "the lie of evolution."  Since January 2007, Kent has been serving a ten-year prison sentence after being convicted of 58 federal counts, including 12 tax offences, one count of obstructing federal agents, and 45 counts of structuring cash transactions. He is incarcerated at the ADX Florence prison in Florence, Colorado. But don't worry though, CSE has been left in the capable hands of Eric Hovind, Kent's son and a chip off the ol' block, in fact Eric is so intent on following in daddy's footsteps that he's selling a DVD lecture series called "Beginnings" ( ) which feature him giving a lecture that is word for word, exactly the same as a series of lectures his father gave in the mid nineties which are available for free on Itunes (

One of the first things you'll notice upon entering Creation Store is they sell a lot of dinosaur stuff, books, toys, DVDs, Kent is in fact such a huge fan of dinosaurs that he likes to be known as "Dr Dino" which hints at his insidious methods of feeding kids his creationist bullshit. See Kent knows kids love Dinosaurs so he'll happily give them a talk throwing in how dinosaurs lived alongside Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden a mere six thousand years ago. Sneaky. Kent also had a dinosaur theme park "Dinosaur Adventure Land" which was swiftly closed when the Government attempted to seize it during his trial.

Anyway here's my crappy, Sunday supplement style gift guide to shopping for the whole family at creation store.
Let's go for something both fun and educational... Kaboom and Kabang on DVD!
"This exciting series features Dr. Kaboom and Dr. Kabang (Eric Hovind and Bill Seaman (Ha!)) in all sorts of scientific adventures. Using experiments, these zany scientists delight and enlighten children about the Air, the Flood, Super Cold, and Why Things Float. Your kids will love the way these characters teach Science and at the same time give God the glory for it all. Laugh and learn as you listen and enjoy all four of these fun-filled episodes of Dr. Kaboom & Dr. Kabang."

 Just a couple of disclaimers... Eric and Bill are not Doctors (looks like false educational claims run in the family) or scientists but saying "Wow look at this ball float, isn't God awesome!" isn't exactly science so whats the harm! Check out the no expensive spared DVD cover for a hint at the lavish production values of this series. Only $30.00 (hey, silly wigs and lab coats don't come cheap you know).

For older kids facing the challenge of High/secondary school go for the Helping Students Package which includes the awesomely titled book HELP! I'm being taught Evolution, not to mention Lies In The Textbooks perfect for teaching young 'uns the proper respect for their teachers and for facts in general. I recommend you throw away Am I Being Brainwashed.... just in case they, maybe, realise it's you doing the brain washing. a steal at $29.50 for five (four really, throw it away, trust me. Some kids do understand irony you know) books.

I hope that helps your Christmas shopping, I can guarantee that anyone receiving the gifts I've recommended will utterly speechless, possibly with joy. Remember spend $150 and you get free delivery too! Thanks "Dr" Hovind see you in 2015!

*Kent's Ph.D  comes from a well-known American evangelical diploma mill Patriot University, Colorado and his doctoral thesis is, quite frankly laughable, but unfortunately not available for public viewing as it has not been published. Patriot University claim that this is because the paper is unfinished, but a copy of it does reside at  the National Centre for Science Education (NCSE), but the organisation cannot distribute it due to copyright restrictions. Check out the excellent "Irreligiosophy" podcast whose hosts examined Kent's paper over three episodes